| Like a wizard on a window pane....... |
[Mar. 24th, 2009|01:10 am] |
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It's been a long time since my last entry...
Well. Another year of my life is gone. Here I stand... 28 years old. If there is any one sentence that could sum up my life right now it would be... I love what I'm doing, but I hate my life... Basically, I never, not in a million years, dreamed that I would be where I am today. In college, chasing a dream, with an unrelenting schedule. (thats the word right, unrelenting... it is the eve of my post-birthday and I am a bit drunk). I say this because my preset schedule has overtaken my life. Between working full-time, going to school full-time, working at my internship, and trying to keep my rock and roll dreams alive, I literally have no free time what-so-ever. I can easily tell you what I am doing from the moment I wake up till the moment my head hits the pillow, for the next 3 weeks... easy. And I know it is hard to visualize what I mean when I say that I have no free time, but here is two examples that might help illustrate my point. First, I still have my mom's christmas present because I haven't had a free day in which to go back to P.S.L. to see her, and second, I lost my "girlfriend", or perhaps, the girl I was seeing, because I have no time to devote to her and she needs more than that. understandable, I suppose. Doesn't change the fact that it sucks.
I kinda want to go on a rant about the girls in my life right now... I'm still debating, in my drunken state, whether or not that is a good idea. Hmmm... Actually, I know for a fact that it is not a good idea. But maybe I will anyways.... Shit.. to be continued....
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| hold me closer, tiny dancer. count the headlights on the highway. |
[Dec. 19th, 2007|04:43 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | music |
| | wii background music | ] |
i haven't posted in a while. shit. i also haven't been drunk in a while. ally is amazing. i can't explain it. she's just fanstastic. we get along so well. she makes me happy. i am in a new band now called 'the communication', i not really convinced that we are the best we could be, but the response so far has been more than incredible. only one show so far, and a magazine interview, an offer of free studio time at a real studio, and quite a few requests for cd's, and merch (which don't exist yet). i'm hungry. i haven't eaten much today.
(ally don't read!!) it looks like, for my first semester back in college, i managed to pull off straight A's. i am quite proud of myself. i can't believe it. full time band, full time job, full time school, and girl friend on other coast of florida, and somehow i pulled it off. it remains to be seen whether or not lightning can strike twice.
fuck. i have to finish christmas shopping. i have to buy for everyone, pretty much. i accidentally ordered something on amazon today without realizing it. oh well, it'll work still. i should probably get some sleep. i am 9 shots (vodka and jack) into and i am typing quite well. whatever. i love ally. life is pretty fucking good right now, and i am happy. thank god.
happy holidays everyone. |
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| you're about as reliable as paper shoes in bad weathers |
[Oct. 4th, 2007|04:21 am] |
fucking a. i have just been fed some information that is making it hard for me to sleep at 4:21 in the morning. i was supremely upset. plus, the damn drummer girl did not call... so i wrote this whole angry livejournal post (those first few lines being the begining of it), which i hope no one had a chance to read. because as i was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep, i had an epiphany. its actually made me feel a whole lot better about a whole lot of things. wow. i don't even want to get into what the whole thing was about, but wow. this is kinda cool. i have a foundation upon which to build. hmm. you might start seeing a newly revived nick dietz tomorrow.
oh, one other good thing. i do have an interview at sam ash music tomorrow/today at 3:15. |
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| how can i stay with you... if everytime we break up, i break down |
[Oct. 3rd, 2007|10:46 am] |
life is funny. with all of its ups and downs.
(up) so... this weekend was the first i've ever spent in tampa since i've moved here. (down) with the ally's recent need to demise our relationship, i didn't have a reason to go back to port saint lucie. (up) did alot of partying. lots of getting drunk. lots of thinking. (down) lots of thinking while being drunk. (up) it was chris berry's bachelor party weekend. and because of the saturday/orlando leg of it and his brother, (down) i got a knife pulled on me. i just wanted to carry the drinks to the room and go home. which reminds me (down) that i now have no date for the wedding. oct. 13th. to short of notice to find someone else probably. (undecided) i should fly solo anyways. plus, he wants me to sing frank sintara's 'the best is yet to come' at the wedding and i need to get practicing...
ooo.. guess what. (up) i am officially kicking college's ass right now. i have now taken a test in all four of my classes and got an A on everyone of them. i'm so excited. plus, (up) i had to take this EDT entrance exam to get into a required course for my major, and i passed that too. now, i just gotta keep it up... which may get harder to do because (down) i have to get a job. (down) my unemployment officially ran out yesterday, and i officially started job hunting yesterday. (up) i think i may have landed a job in the warehouse at sam ash music, which would rule cause its my favorite music store. quite possibly way better than that though, is (up) while i was at sam ash i saw this drummer playing who was pretty good and asked if said drummer would be interested in playing with our band, (up)and the drummer was interested and is auditioning today.....and the kicker is... (way up) SHE is a hot chick!!! plus (up) we now have six new songs completely finished from front to back and we are quite sure we are going to call the band... the communication. i played open mic last night and (up) got a fantastic response and some of the best compliments on my voice i've ever gotten. really helped boost my mood.
i keep finding myself just barely missing 11:11 in the last week or so. its always 11:12 or 11:10 or something close. i wonder if thats a sign.
i wish i was better at communicating. like now, for instance. |
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| you would think i've learned by now. how to swim, when the wave comes crashing down. |
[Sep. 28th, 2007|05:44 am] |
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The Not-So-Great Blackout of 2007...a.k.a. I drank too much
last night was the tampa night of my good friend, chris berry's bachelor party. my house was the rendezvous/crash point. i was quite ready to get trashed, and i did just that. but there has been recent additional motives in my life that insipired me to take last nights partying to the limit. unfortunately for me, by the time i reached the limit i was too inebriated to realize i was there. so, i kept going. countless beers, shots of whiskey and rum, whiskey and cokes, a tom collins, an irish car bomb, and a vicodin. stupid me. i blacked out. apparently, i seperated myself from the group in the not-so-friendly club we attended. meanwhile, tj, one of the fellow bachelor party party members, was getting mugged while adam, trying to stop the robbery, was being choked by the mugger, and then the whole thing was broken up by security. i guess everyone but me left after that, and i was at the club alone. being that i was wasted before we ever left the house, drank at two bars when we got to ybor, and that the club where the shit went down was having an 'all you can drink' night... that was the end of me. i don't remember much of being at the club at all. i don't remember leaving the club. fuck... i don't really know what happened from there. i took a lovely stroll, by myself, through the streets of ybor city. i remember yelling at people somewhere and buying a slice of pizza. my friends couldn't find me. i did some drunk dialing. idiot. i don't know how we met back up, or driving back home. i do know that i woke up from sleeping on the floor next to my bed, that the towel rack in my bathroom is ripped off the wall, the house is destroyed, and i feel like shit physically and mentally. blacking out is terrifying. to know that i was completely not in control of myself... its just dumb. drinking is fun, and usually harmless, but only when done properly. so, basically, i am writing this as a reminder to myself that in the future, there are better and safer ways to handle things, and as a letter of apology to my friends for my actions last night. i'm ashamed. what a fucking jack ass i am. sometimes man... |
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| i was introduced and before we started groovin', i said i thank you baby, but i gotta keep moving on |
[Jul. 25th, 2007|11:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | tampa | ] |
it was one year ago today that i woke up to my house on fire. what a horrible day that was. last night i had a dream that a house that was mine (i've never seen it before) was caught in a huge storm and it started flooding. i don't know what that was supposed to mean. maybe its me drowning under all the pressure to find a new home in tampa and get all my school stuff situated. what a clusterfuck that is. i think i have found a house but i get a sneaking feeling that if i don't get all the paperwork finished, filed, and sent off by tomorrow, i'm not gonna get it.
its weird that i'm moving. i have a lot of loose ends to tie up before i go, and not enough time to do it in. cleaning, garage sale, settling up with the landlord, fuck you's and i love you's, canceling tv and internet and gym and phone and electricity and other shit, packing, kissing good bye. just the thought is stressing me out. maybe thats why i'm having the same problem i had before that i mentioned. that somethings not right.
endless thanks goes out to the beautiful and marvelous denise for all her help and hospitality in these last few weeks of moving chaos. thank you darling. you're the best.
i get to leave behind all the people i can't stand and meet a whole new set. hoo ray. i already miss some people. allow me to apologize to pretty much everyone i know right now for a general lack of communication and... i don't know... other stuff. i'm so fucked. i don't know how i'm gonna do this, but i have to. i can't believe its been a year already since my house burned down. theres more to tell about things and skid marks and traffic tickets and what not but i'm done with all this typing garbage. i like tampa. ahh. i wanna rip my skin off. |
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| ...and i've been working like a dog. its been a hard days night. i should be sleepin like a log. |
[Jun. 27th, 2007|01:11 am] |
ahh. i have been working for my brother here in cocoa for four days now. its pretty rad.... although i am there all day, everyday. he scheduled me for 102 hours this week alone. but its the most chill job ever. i'm doing everything... sales, cashier, stock, and misc. other duties. although, i am gaining weight by the second cause nearly every meal winds up being take out or fast food type items.
everyone that works for my brother is pretty cool. alot of them are very cool, and they all LOVE my brother. its pretty awesome to see him in action. makes me a proud sibling. he's always trying to hook me up with girls that work for him. its kinda funny. i think he's trying to live vicariously through me or something. not entirely, but a little.
yesterday, i had to drive back to psl to pick up a piece of paper from the psl office of sky king, just to drive it back soon after. i got to stop by my house for about and hour. my neatly made bed looked so inviting, but i had to turn it down. i had work to do. jon and derek were there, but jon was sleeping and derek, who i thought was sleeping, was out back somking the whole time, and i wound up seeing him for all of 2 seconds as i was walking out the door. no big though. its whatever. but what is big is.... when i was home i picked up my mail, and in my mail was a letter from USF, explaining that they had reviewed my transfer transcripts and based on my former gpa, they are gonna give me 4000 dollar per year scholarship. so, its definately looking like i am going back to school. coool.
i am tired and i really need to go to bed. oh yeah... yesterday, something was wrong. its probably nothing. just a passing thing. also, yesterday. i did something i haven't done in a while. turns out, i didn' t miss you as much as i thought i did. ooooo, thats right.... that was a mysterious reference. last oh, and if for some reason you are trying to get ahold of me and cannot, its because my cell phone gets periodic reception around these parts. probably cause it sucks. the end.
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| I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink. i wonder shoud i get up and fix myself a drink. |
[Jun. 17th, 2007|10:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | a mix of sleepy and grateful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the beatles - i'm so tired | ] |
i haven't been able to sleep much lately. not a good nights rest in a while. i keep getting to bed really late and waking up way too early. last night i went to bed at 6am and woke up before 10am.i try to go back to sleep but i can't. i start thinking too much and i drive myself crazy. it makes me unresolvably tired all day. jon noticed this yesterday and generously offered me a nap via xanax, which i washed down with a shot of jack, and managed to get in a good 2hr nap. he's been really cool lately. acutally, all of my friends have been really cool lately. between losing someone who didn't deserve her fate and losing someone's love.... theres been far too much sadness in far too little time. many thanks and much appreciation is in order to jon and all of my friends. i am lucky to have you.
i took my mom to get her MRI the other day and after kissing me hello, the first thing she asked me was "how's ally?". and i had to explain to her what happened. she was sad to hear about it for my sake and because she liked her ....and because there is nothing my mom wants more on this planet than for me to get married and make her some grandbabbies. then, she tried cheering me up. she said "well, its her loss." awww. thanks mom. i'm so pathetic (yes, pathetic) about this whole ordeal. i still want to be her friend. still want to hang out and do stuff. i miss that. we always had lots of fun together. but how do you go back? reprogram your brain? i should be able to do this, i'm a mature adult... ok, well, not really, but mature enough to handle this. i dont know what to do. make a post in my livejournal i suppose.....
the end.
(warning: this is the second time i am typing this entry, cause when i finished it originally, i clicked on the little question mark at the bottom to find out what a 'tag' was, because i'm livejournal retarded, and it erased everything i had written. so dont do that. this sucks. i liked the first draft way better.)
oh, and the rush concert was fantastic. damn. and i have to get my dad a father's day gift. shit. any suggestions? |
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| i hope your in a better place with soul set free |
[Jun. 15th, 2007|06:57 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | hot water music - minno | ] |
stephanie steele's funeral was yesterday. she died at the age of 21. while i didn't know her as much as some other people did, i knew her enough to know she was a beautiful person who deserved to live more than most people in this world. i met her through theDSCproject, when we played at her 18th birthday celebration. it was a big deal because doctors told her she wouldn't make it to see that day. we had hung out a few times since then and whenever i saw her, she was always smiling and laughing. an all around good person.
i hate funerals, but i felt she deserved everyone shes ever met to be there, so i went. it was a sobering experience to go to her services. i could only think about two things: how bad i felt for her best friends, family, and her.... and how i am giving up my life by not living everyday to the fullest. i've been thinking about how i can change, and seize the day, but so far i haven't come up with anything. its almost as if i've preprogrammed myself to just keep going through the motions and not question what more i could be doing. if i don't think about me wasting my time, then i won't notice. what am i supposed to do? i guess thats up to me.
regardless, may stephanie be resting in peace. what ever god you believe in, please send out a special prayer to it for stephanie steele, even if your atheist, do it anyways. |
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| today is the greatest, day i've ever known. |
[May. 19th, 2007|01:10 am] |
hey! someone ask me to feel bad right now. or unhappy maybe...... sorry no can do. absolutely no way. why? you ask....because today was one of the best days i've ever had...ever. official nick dietz record keeper.... take note... this day, may the 18th, two thousand and seven. magnificent. i just got home from the best concert i've ever seen. no exaggeration. and i have been to many concerts. roger waters (pink flyod basically). the best sounding, most visually stimulating, original, well thought out, concert ever. to loosely quote my roommate, jon, its almost depressing, in a way, because there is a very good chance we'll never see anything that good again.
but just a concert you ask? that made one of your best days ever? while that concert could have, thats not even all... today i learned a valuable life lesson that i already knew, but sometimes had a hard time believing. that lesson... that i can do anything i want if i put my mind to it. that hard work and perseverance really can pay off. it worked for me as i finally got something today that i had been waiting for, for a long long time.
and, in other news, while its not set in stone just yet, i believe i am going to USF due to some friendly advice/persuasion. but we'll see...
there is a god. and he's pretty cool in my book.
hoo ray!
thank you.
i feel special.
fuck yah! what a day! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 16th, 2007|10:02 pm] |
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WHERE SHOULD WE GO EAT AT?!?! |
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| All I can say is that my life is pretty plain, I like watching the puddles gather rain. |
[May. 14th, 2007|07:39 pm] |
so i just got the mail today. in it was a package from USF. and in that was my acceptance letter and shit. woo hoo. i kinda knew i was getting in because it was sorta guaranteed because i have an AA from IRCC, but its still cool. also, their financial aid is offering me twice what UCF is offering me. but i have to reapply for all that shit anyways because i was laid off and what not. i started all that shit today. its alot of paperwork. its easy, but it just sucks having to fill all that out. i really want to figure out how to find out which one has the better program for what i am doing. if anyone knows of any website out there that rates colleges in such a fashion...... if you could let me know that info, it'd be greatly appreciated. i am having a hell of a time (not in a good way) trying to find any. i have been asking around to everyone, pretty much, about what town they like more, and a good majority have said orlando all the way and that tampa is a piece of shit, in a matter of speaking. but i don't know. tough stuff.
in other news, i've been pretty happy lately. yesterday was mothers day and that was fun. palm city grill is delicious. my mom is still awesome. jose informed me that i am much more tan and it looks good, so thats cool, probably. i am a crazy running fool. did over 4.5 miles in 45 mins today. its been raining which is good for the grass and the garden, which i weeded out of necessity and empathy. i have found the miracle that is the movie grandma's boy and it is one of my new favorites of all time. hilarious. watched like a billion times already. i just found out greg giraldo (one of my favorite comedians) is coming to town in july. i am going to see pink floyd on friday with jon and my dad. since i have stopped smoking the mary jane for a while now, not only are my dreams back, but i am starting to be able to remember them. its great. they are kinda weird (.com) but i suppose thats why dreams are dreams. i think i am gonna try and start writing them down when i wake up. keep a dream diary of sorts. then use them for song material and what not. hooray for happiness. i likeah youah.
in conclusion, we each must find our own moral model, one that works for us. Living with integrity means knowing our moral code and following it. Hopefully, this is a system which enables us to face, evaluate and make the hard choices now and down the road. Ideally, practicing on situations which mimic life will provide a level of comfort and make the real dilemmas less anxiety provoking. We need to feel what our limits are, accept that others may be guided by different values and perspectives, and respect that most men and women already have their own internal standards for ethical behavior. For CBS evening news, I'm Nick Dietz. Good-bye darling, it has just started pouring down rain and I would like to go for a walk in it. |
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| good times never felt so good |
[May. 7th, 2007|09:05 pm] |
ok. so i have lost the ability to believe in my singing anymore. i don't know what happened. it seems like everytime i go to sing something i would consider well within my ability, i can't pull it off. its quite disturbing. i haven't taken singing lessons in a while now and perhaps thats the reason. no band + no lessons = way less practice. perhaps i'll just take it back to basics and shit.
i'm thinking about going down to open mic at osceola st. cafe tonight. its already 9pm though. i just need to get out of the house but i feel like i'm glued here. jons out with denise. dererks doing god knows what with josephine. i'm on livejournal. ahh. nevermind. i'm in for the night. i'm gonna put on a movie.
i have an appointment with UCF financial aid tomorrow at 3pm. after that i am gonna try and figure out something to do in orlando for a while because tim's bands gots a shows down there so i figure i'll go. its at the backbooth. rad. but i don't know what to do until then. any suggestions???? i have to cram a bunch of shit in tomorrow morning before i leave. i want to get all of my hairs cut, hit the gym, and do all the unemployment requirements. which reminds me i have to apply for one more job before i go to bed. and some other shit i've got written to do in my planner.
eout. jon and denise are back. cool. the batting cages were closed again. i am very excited for these next few days. oh so excited. hoo ray. finally. it seemed like forever.
denise is gone, derek and josephine have surfaced, and blunt smoke is back....... ahh, the good old days. no more. oh well. i dont miss it. mary jane..... i still love you, i'm just not in love with you... te he he.
sorry if this post has no flow or point. i wasn't paying enough attention. i'll try and put up a better one later or something. until then, i'll be thinking about you. |
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| don't you, forget about me. don't don't don't don't when you walk on by. la la la la |
[May. 5th, 2007|06:33 pm] |
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man. i really need to change my mood right now. i am just not in a good mood for some reason. perhaps i woke up on the wrong side of the bed. or something. i don't know. i do know, however, that i have to leave here very soon to go to cheeks' engagement party. i still gotta swing by bed bath and beyond and pick up their gift. its time to chipper up, fucker....i said to myself. ok. i feel better now. i just thought. wow. awesome. what perfect timing.
fuck jon. jerk.
just kidding. he's cool
later |
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| here i go, again on my own. going down the only road i've ever known. |
[May. 4th, 2007|04:47 pm] |
fuck. fuck. fuck. its looks as if i am going to see artie lange all on my lonesome this evening. shit. i suppose its my own fault. i probably could've planned better, however, there was people that were supposed to go with me who dropped off. ahh whatever. i'm gonna have a rad time regardless. i got a flask full of gentleman jack ready for the parking lot before the show and i got my laughing shoes on.
i saw the noon showing today of spiderman 3. i thought it was very good. save for the end perhaps. i don't want to give anything away, so i'll just let you see it, like i'm sure you will, and then you can tell me what you thought.
FUCK! somebody go with me tonight. i am gonna make some raviolis and eat them and then go. dammit. shitty cock suck. pardon my french and my cursing.
hey. i just now got a call from beth. she's already in miami. and while she can't go to the show, she did invite me to go party afterwards, miami style. that could be cool. i guess not all hope is lost. maybe jon will go now if he knows beth is gonna be down there. hmm.
well. i gotta get going. get dressed and ready and cooking ravioli-ing. so bye. miss you. see you soon. alvedesang. come to the show with me. how the hell do you spell that word, anyways. not the word 'anyways', i know how to spell that, i meant that word i was trying to spell how it sounds 'alvedesang'??? |
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| so you think you can stop me and spit in my eye. so you think you can love me and leave me to die |
[May. 3rd, 2007|01:21 am] |
they say that squid loves to eat shrimp. but with the recent problem of overfishing, the supply of shrimp has become shockingly low and its hard for the squid to find the food they need. so what is the noble squid to do? find a liking for something else to eat or starve a little and try to survive based on what shrimp they can get. i say, if its shrimp you want, then its shrimp you should try and get. this is a roundabout life lesson. life is too short to settle for less then what you feel you deserve.
i am trying to live for the shrimp.
this maybe one of the worst metaphors i've ever thought of. is it even considered a metaphor? ahhh, who cares. i'm tired.
you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.
and steven tyler's shirt is always open. |
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| the more you talk the more things sound the same |
[May. 2nd, 2007|02:31 am] |
what a fucking day. if anybody told me that shit was gonna be all shit and stuff, i'da been all like....shit.
i know what the world wants and i know what i can give it. i just hope its enough.
you know what i love. gentleman jack. thats some top shelf jack daniels liqour for anyone who doesn't know. i can drink that shit like its water. and, unfortunately, i do. that might explain why this computer screen is all moving around all crazy like and i haven't had any hallucenatasldfskjlgeinc drugs tonight.
i don't want to ever get a job. hey! guess what. i got into ucf. got the paperwork yesterday. that means i'm smart. ok. not reeally but the government sucks dude. except for the part about unemployment. that part rules. actually the government kinda rules overall its just the top officials being sold out to all these special interest groups that sucks. i mean, when it boils down to it this is the best country in the world, we just need to fix it up a bit, because we are losing sight of what really matters and ain't noboby doing shit about it.
wow. what a day.
hot fuzz rules by the way. go see it. i am quite tan. people are gonna call me 'nick the tan man', i just know it.
hey! does anybody want to be a rockstar? i write all these songs and i am gonna need a backing band to play it. i am not gonna bullshit with anyone. i am just gonna ask that we palythe songs the way they sounds and whatervere. i am worigkning on this whole solo project right now and i am gonna neeed a totally rad backing band to got on tour with and dhit and shit.
mmmm. subway. chickedn bacon and racndh sub. mmm. i stoppedd worriansflkssying aboutt tyepos. woo hoo. fuckt eh system .i
i'm drunk . i have something to tsay by the way. i want the whole world to know that i ....
good night. |
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| bye bye miss american pie |
[Apr. 26th, 2007|03:27 am] |
so i started recording. yeah. its pretty much all i did for many hours today. orginally very disappointed with how it came out, but then i tweaked it a bit and was satisfied enough not to get all pissed off and delete it all and start over and and and. i am up way too late. which means i'm gonna wake up later tomorrow and waste all that daylight. i gotta apply at USF, UF, and FAU still. fuck. lots of stuff to get done tomorrow that i've been putting off. its not impossible by any means, i'm just being lazy.
i have high hopes for this weekend. its jam packed with activities. dinner parties, birthday parties, DSC, all sorts of things. my stomach hurts. big plans for this weekend. i'll probably chicken out though. better safe than sorry perhaps??? hmm. whatever. i'm not very deep, i shouldn't try to be. i hate that. fake deepness. 'the torment that lives within my soul'. maybe i am deep and am just too afraid to tap into it. wait a minute.... that was deep. shit.
goodnight.
oh yeah... if you know both tim and myself than you are invited to tims birthday party this friday. just comment or email me for info. |
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| and we don't even care, to shake these zipper blues |
[Apr. 25th, 2007|12:13 am] |
i can't believe anyone responded to my last entry. i kinda figured that since i hadn't been on here in so long, that no one would notice that i am on here and i could travel incognito. there goes that idea. i'm still not very familiar with how this whole website really works, and i don't care enough to find out. but thanks for the comments, thats cool.
so, today was cool. it was my dad's birthday. he turned 56. he's still got it. whatever that means. my brother and i went halvzies on this sweet ass craftsman drill for him. and in addition to that, a while back, right after my birthday, my brother and his wife took me to MGM and i got stuck on the tower of terror. it totally broke when we were free falling down. there was this loud boom and it came to quite a rough and painful, screeching hault. luckily for me i had my camera in my pocket and i managed to capture most of the experience on video. this voice came over the intercom and said something to the effect of 'sorry we are having some technical difficulties....blah blah' and the emergency lights came on. and they walked us down this back way, behind the scenes kinda shit. and then they let whomever wanted to ride it over again, go back on a different one. even though they were trying to tell us that there was nothing wrong with the one we were on. so, we were pretty much the only people that went back on. it was interesting.
the moral of the story is that when telling a story it is important to have a moral.
i am tired and must retreat to my quarters now. good night all. much love. |
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| i get by with a little help from my friends |
[Apr. 24th, 2007|03:09 am] |
life is crazy. i am quite happy right now. the most happy i have been in a really long time. to be liberated from circuit city is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. i get this second chance at living life again. i feel so free. it really feels good. it was amazing how much stock i put into that job. it seemed like there was no life after it. i would always talk about moving and playing music for a living and doing all this shit i've always wanted to do, but in my head i sort of knew that unless it fell into my lap, i was never going to do it. now, i can. i was too comfortable. now i can go out and be somebody. thank you. thank you universe for giving me this second chance. i won't let you down. i always thought i was destined for greater things. it took a lot of what i once considered 'tragic events' to take place for me to realize it, but now i really do believe they were all blessings in disguise.
to all my friends. i love you. every last one of you. everyone whos been so helpful and supportive and still are. you've all made this situation that much better. i am grateful to have met the people i have. man, i tell ya. lucky. thats me. i don't know why i always want to make it seem like the world is taking a big dump on me, but i am finally starting to believe that that is not true. that my destiny is not written. that its up to me to write it myself. that as much as i give, thats what i'll get out. that it really is up to me. its invigorating. inspiring.
i do miss playing shows, though. if there is one thing i could ask for back right now, it'd be that. i want to perform. i want to play so bad. i need it. its part of who i am. i am throughly excited that DSC will be playing this friday at tim's party, but i wish we had more lined up. i love karsten, it'll be quite bittersweet to rock with him again. but it'll also be quite the musical cock tease. however, DSC is not over. a hiatus, its refered to as. but.... fuck, i need a creative outlet. so, i've decided to make a solo record. i know its quite self-centered of me to do, but lots of people have done it, and been very successful with it. anyways, look for that soon. i'm looking foward to it.
its way past my bed time. good night. |
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knowingisenough's journal